Wednesday, December 1, 2010


I got to thinking earlier this week about "commitment": what are the levels or degrees, what level am I at, and what does it even mean, particularly in regards to relationships? So I thought I'd do an analysis on here.

When you're "committed" to someone, what are the expectations that go with it? What does it mean to be "committed"? My thoughts are:

A commitment to CONTINUANCE. When you can safely trust someone to be there for you in the future just as much as they are there for you now, you can feel safe investing in them and moving forward. When you are committed to someone, you are promising that for them, and you expect it in return.
A commitment to EXCLUSIVITY/FIDELITY. Increasing the degree of commitment in a relationship acts as a funnel: the more involved you become with someone, the more exclusive your commitment becomes. Think about it - it's true in dating (as your interest and commitment to one person increases, you lose your interest in other possibilities), and it's even a religious truth (when you become more involved in God, there's less room for Satan to cut in). There's an increased expectation for faithfulness to each other as the commitment grows.
A commitment to EACH OTHER. As you truly become committed to someone else, your desires shift from yourself to their self. When you really do love someone, you want them to be happy, even if that means making some personal sacrifices. But those sacrifices don't really matter, because the other person is more important to you. You're invested in who they are - you want the best for them - and they become likewise invested in you. Two become one (Mark 10:8; Doctrine and Covenants 35:2).

That's all I came up with right now... But it's good to think about, both before entering a relationship and evaluating while you're in one. "What promises am I making to this person?" and "Am I reciprocating these promises to them?"

As for where I am, I'm working on building relationships with people. That needs to be my focus right now: making new friends, broadening my horizons, developing charity, and making people feel important. I've found that as I try the latter more, I get a lot of fulfillment out of it. We're all children of God; we're all unique, and we all deserve and need love. If I make my relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ my highest priority, everything else will be added in (the right) time (Matthew 6:33; 3 Nephi 13:33).

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