Miracles :)

One of my hobbies in college has been partnered dancing: namely, salsa, ballroom and country swing. I'm working most actively on ballroom, and auditions for the entry-level team were this week. I'd tried out 5 times before without success, and one of my friends convinced me I shouldn't give up yet. So, I got work off, made plans to practice before tryouts, and spent part of the afternoon deciding what to wear and gelling my hair back into a smooth bun.

I was nervous, because the two tryout dances are cha-cha and waltz. I haven't taken a class with cha-cha in two years... And I hadn't done any ballroom during the time I was in Europe. While I was getting ready, I realized that the music I was listening to wasn't easing my tension, and I switched to some audio tracks of selections from the Book of Mormon. I couldn't catch all of the words as I ran around my apartment, but what I heard was enough to remind me of the principles found therein, and to give me a little peace.

The best part was praying in my heart on the way to the auditions (listening to the scriptures had humbled me into the right mindset). I asked Heavenly Father to be with me, however the auditions resulted, and I repeated that sentiment/plea over and over. I was a little nervous still just because of the uncertainty, but I trusted that what I asked for would happen as I surrendered my worry and believed that I wasn't (and would not be) alone. Before it was my turn on the floor, I asked a couple guys I knew to help me practice and I chatted with the other girls, encouraging and reassuring them, as we waited in line. The weight of anxiety, which had previously been furrowing my brows with fear, had left me, and I felt more relaxed and able to enjoy the experience.

Well, I didn't even make the first callback. My cha-cha was rough (my partner had a flimsy lead, which ended up showcasing my weakness spectacularly), and I guess I missed a couple steps in the waltz. Oh well. I was a little disappointed, but I wasn't tempted to cry and despair over it. My sixth audition came and went, and I know what I need to work on now. It was so great, because I know that hope and love are fruits of the Holy Spirit, which is of God, and that's what I felt. I stayed through the rest of the audition to support my friends who had made that first callback, and most of them ended up getting placed on the team!! I was as happy for them as I would have been for myself if I had made the team this semester. It was such a blessing to share in the rest of their experience that night as they made callbacks each round. I'm really happy for and proud of them :)

I got home that night feeling much better than I had earlier in the day, when I was stressing over auditions, school, and a messy apartment. And, my roommate had made cookies while I was gone! The night just got better and better. But the miracle which got me there was this precious experience: asking for peace (no matter the outcome), trusting in that peace (that no matter what happens, it'll be ok), and moving forward with that belief in action (releasing my anxiety and smiling, enjoying myself, and encouraging others). I learned that prayer works, that God loves me, and that He fulfills His promises.

Tonight, I've been feeling a little lonely and missing my friends (some are in town and busy, and some are out of the state or out of the country). But it's ok to have little downs once in a while; just because I feel a little sad tonight doesn't mean that the gospel is any less true, or that the future is any less bright. So I can still smile and trust that my God loves me (and loves everyone else just as much) and is taking care of me. The reasons to hope, love and continue forward are far greater than the reasons to doubt, fear and stop in my tracks :)