Little Lonely

I'm probably being shallow and/or just a baby. But I guess one thing I miss about being single is having lots of friends around. I love Z to death and beyond, and wouldn't trade my life with him for anything. But being married means I have 1 roommate instead of 5, and old friends are either busy, live far away, or are single men who don't associate with me anymore... The first two groups are definitely the majority. My family ward is much less social (and much more transient) than my singles ward was, so it's hard to make friends there too. Since I don't see friends much anymore, I've been relying on getting hits on my blog and checking facebook for any kind of validation through social interaction, which is really lame and pathetic. I probably need to make new friends, but that's scary, and the best friend I have in my new neighborhood has 2 kids and is moving this month... It's hard for me to make friends in my classes because I'm shy and most of my classes are so big that I'll only see the same person a few times during the semester. My dance classes are usually my best option; this semester though, I'm not making any guy friends because I'm married and guys don't want to have fun dancing with married women (guys were the people I had put most energy into befriending before getting married, so they reflect the biggest change); the best class I have for making friends in is my country dance class because 2/3 of it is women, and it's a really relaxed, fun class. I think I've made a few friends in that class - even some guys who are willing to laugh with me and aren't afraid of asking me to dance - but I'm afraid that none of the friendships with anyone are deep enough to survive past finals; I took too long to stop being shy and didn't take time to invest myself in those friendships (the fact that I've hardly seen any of them outside class doesn't assure me much). Z and I see his friends on campus sometimes, which is fun and lifts my spirits; my friends are all gone though. Sometimes when I'm in a hyperbolic mood I feel like I have no friends and that Z is the only person who cares about me. I'm not sure what to do yet, but I really hope things will get easier somehow.

--I don't feel like this every minute of every day, but it gets to me fairly regularly, usually when I feel a lack of things to do or things that are immediately interesting.

CHRISTmas

Love this video. To paraphrase a quote, "There would be no Christmas if there were no Easter. Christ would have been just another baby born one night if it weren't for His divine mission in mortality that culminated in the events of Easter morning." I like that although this video doesn't show the crucifixion or resurrection, it does portray other parts of Christ's mortal ministry, reminding us why His birth was such an anticipated and monumental event. Merry Christmas, and remember the reason for the season.

Score! Hallelujah! Joy!

I have an awesome life.

I have Christmas lights up in my house.
I have a wonderful-beyond-imagination husband.
I'm listening to the Christian Contemporary Christmas station on Pandora.
I'm eating ice cream.
I made an awesome dinner tonight. And there are abundant leftovers.
Husband loved said dinner.
I'm making good progress on the biggest Christmas present.
I've got a direction to go in my family history.
I've got some busy but exciting classes to look forward to.
My calling is making more sense now.
I have good friends.
I have an awesome family.
I'm feeling a lot better than I have in a long time.
God still loves me.
I got a fun, new haircut.
I have a warm apartment.

Life feels really good tonight.