Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Lots O' Thoughts

Wow, it's been over a week since I posted on here... A lot has happened in the past week.

I broke up with my boyfriend last Wednesday (Day 55, though we broke the streak after 57 days). I don't like the connotations of "breaking up" though... because we still plan on being friends and going on dates with each other (in fact, we went on a date 6 hours after breaking up). It would be a lot sadder if I thought this were the end of my relationship-friendship with him. The problem was just that I felt like it wasn't the best timing: I've got some growing up I need to do before I'm ready for the kind of commitment that an exclusive dating relationship deserves (and requires). So, my gameplan is to just work on developing friendship-relationships with lots of people, take time and be patient, and be wise about when I decide to make those kinds of commitments. We'll see what the future holds; I'm sure it'll be challenging but totally worth it.

Most of my weekend was spent at DanceSport. DanceSport is a dance competition with class events pertinent to the different classes and levels offered by my school as well as open events ranging through elementary school, preteen, youth, and amateur. I competed in 3 events, 2 of which were competing up against the gold level dancers. Haha, I was cut after dancing just one round in those, but in my silver level event I held in for a couple rounds. This is the competition in which I was going to compete in Open Standard Novice, but then my partner found someone else he wanted to dance with. It was an amazing weekend though! I was so impressed by the tight control and skill the advanced Latin dancers had, especially in rumba and samba (they danced rumba, samba, pasodoble, and jive). The standard ballroom dancers wowed me with their beauty and grace (dancing slow waltz, viennese waltz, quickstep, and tango); I studied their costumes particularly, and noted different styles, embellishments, and colors to see what seemed to look and function the best. It's somewhat embarrassing to admit, but I almost felt like crying at how beautiful the event was. It wasn't only the dance performances that touched me though - the dance floor was opened up a couple times for a general dance during breaks, and when the whole floor started moving together in time to a waltz, it was amazing to watch. Even cuter was observing older married couples moving through the steps together, enjoying each other's company and sharing in the pleasure of dancing. I spent several hours there over the 2 days of the competition observing, cheering on friends, and taking lots of photographs. My competition results aren't impressive by any means, but it was a thoroughly enjoyable weekend being absorbed in the magic of ballroom dance.

Another special experience this weekend was on Sunday. I hadn't been feeling too stressed over the weekend... But more recently, on occasion, I've been more susceptible to discouragement. I messed something up in the first part of our church meetings this past Sunday, and the negative feelings came back, and I had more trouble than usual in trying to hide or ignore them. I got some counsel and a priesthood blessing between church getting out and going to bed that night. The help I got is things I've heard all my life, but it's exactly what I needed at this time. God's priesthood is amazing, and I'm so glad that it's here on earth and so readily available to bless our lives. I was reminded to choose faith instead of fear, and that I can safely trust Christ to take care of me. That's something we all can always improve on. I'm trying to incorporate that more into my life, because it really is the only way to find peace - to let go of our pains, sorrows, weaknesses and sins, and give them to Christ. We don't need to fear or worry unduly about the future because He is taking care of us, and we can find security, confidence, and happiness by making Him our strength. Through Christ, we really can overcome all things.

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