Wednesday, January 12, 2011

"Would You Love Me, If It Won't Hurt You At All?"

I took the title from song lyrics by Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband, but it relates to the subject of this post.

What do you do when you've given away your heart, and now you need to get it back? I didn't exactly send it with a gift receipt :P Haha.

I'm really not feeling sad right now, I promise. I just realized a couple days ago that while I'm still genuinely interested in meeting guys and getting to know them (people are so interesting and individual!), my heart's not in it like it used to be. I used to wonder about the possible "potential" with pretty much every guy I knew, but that's gone, and it feels very strange (that's never, ever happened before). It feels like my heart's isn't there anymore, because I gave it to someone.
[Maybe feeling this void-of-sorts is God's way of forcing* me to obey my mom's advice: to stop worrying about "dating" and just have fun :) If I'm not evaluating by the "potential meter", maybe I can stop worrying about whether that kind of potential is there or not. (*Note to reader: God doesn't "force" anything on people - he just makes situations highly conducive to particular results)]
I feel pretty chill with where things are at. I definitely have a great best guy friend who's there for me, and while it's perhaps unadvisable to "wait for him" or hold out any hopes (he said so himself), I'm just going to take things one day, one person at a time. God's teaching me about the importance of time and giving me several opportunities to exercise patience with myself. I don't know what's ahead of me, but He does, and He'll prepare the way for my greatest happiness. When I put my faith in Him, He'll make sure that my heart is just where it needs to be. And, He'll take care of the return postage :)

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